It has been amazing in colorado springs the past week or so. We had our first snow last week. I am still amazed when we get 6" of snow in mid october. Luckily it did not stick on the roads so we did not plow. I like plowing but I hate getting up at 4 in the morning to go and plow. I love how pure and clean stuff looks when it has just snowed. it smooths over all the imperfections in the landscape that I seem to see all the time.
I have been reading "Crime and Punshiment" for the past week or so. I have Barnes & Noble has small unabridged editions of classics that are cheap and that is the most important thing because then I can get a hard cover of a classic for 5 bucks instead of 30. I guess my rants against shopping at walmart and rei are kind've moot when I go and buy books at B & N. I could qualify that it is not very often though, but I have to admit that I am there every other week to read magazines for free. It kind've convicts me that I need to make more of an effort to find a good private bookstore that I can shop at. I rant and rave against walmart, home depot and rei because I want to support local people but still I go to somewhere else like them. I shop and corporate supermarkets and buy my gas from honestly wherever I can find it because once the low fuel light on the motorcycle comes on it is always a good thing to find gas as quickly as possible.
How to I avoid these kind've conudrums?? At the same time do they really matter? If Crime and Punshiment is an accurate portrayal of life in St Petersburg I am lucky to have a walmart. I am really privileged to be able to never have to worry about having enough money for food or honestly anything. The characters in crime and punishment are living in abject poverty yet they still have the same base worries that we have like love, life, God. Of course sometimes all they can think about is food or finding a place to get out of the cold.
Once again does all this stuff really matter. Is there any point in trying to support local businesses over saving money. The issues that come up in my life are so trivial in comparison to food and shelter, but almost everyone in the US has not problem with this kind've stuff. The homeless population in all reality is tiny, I think that most of the people who can not afford to eat usually need to be taught how to manage their money better. It all sounds so callous and hard hearted because I know that their are people who really struggle to have enough money every month and alot of those people are at the Glen. They want a life style like every one else has but it is one they cannot afford so they put themselves in massive debt and then have to look for other jobs because they cannot not afford to get payed so little.
I work with Joey Clark alot and so we get into lots of debates about stuff. God has used him to change my mind on the value of money or how worthless it really is. I always figured that I needed a job somewhere else because I cannot buy everything I want while I am at the Glen. God provides everything I need and more but in all reality I am very materialistic. i get an idea in my head that i want something and I just go out and get it or wait and wait until finally the time is right but I will be focused on that one thing beyond all else for alot of the time until I get it. It is wrong it is like coveting or lusting but I still have a problem with it.
God made me content. Ever since I came to the Glen I have been on the lookout for a better job. I always dreamed of more money. Probably 60-70% of the time i wanted to leave because of money. I had the opportunity about a week or 2 ago to take a job where I would work in landscaping and after the first year get a raise to 50g. which seemed like alot for what they wanted me to do but that is beside the point. When i had to make the decision God totally confirmed that I just needed to live within my means and stay at the Glen because there was still alot for me to do.
Right after that God gave me a vision for what the Grounds at the Glen needed to be. I dream of little sitting areas all around Glen Eyrie that give people a place to be by themselves and spend time with God and if they need feel isolated from the rest of the world in the prescence of God. I also see this as being in line with where the leaders at the Glen say God is leading them. They want the Glen to be focused on ministry and not just focused on making a profit which is what its aim has been for the past couple years.
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