Tales from the Glen

About a month ago a group of japanese college students came to the Glen to volunteer with us. Last year we had them digging a grave so I'm sure they were wondering what they were going to be doing this year. The really weird thing was that their leader, Bryan Gibbs and a couple of the guys new exactly what my motorcycle was. It seems like nobody in the US knows of buell or they think buells are a piece of crap. It turns out in japan buells are really popular if almost unaffordable (over 20000). I was kind've like should I let them ride my bike. One of the guys wanted to get a ride on it so I gave him a ride around the Glen, I guess riding on the back with another guy is not taboo in japan like it is here so I did not really care either way.

The whole experience was really cool for all the guys who came and volunteered with us. God used the Glen, Bryan and Sarah to reach these guys and move them closer to the Lord. Bryan said that on this trip, the students were more interested in the Lord then they had been anytime in the past year (i.e. a years worth of progress in three weeks).

Another day in Russia

It has been amazing in colorado springs the past week or so. We had our first snow last week. I am still amazed when we get 6" of snow in mid october. Luckily it did not stick on the roads so we did not plow. I like plowing but I hate getting up at 4 in the morning to go and plow. I love how pure and clean stuff looks when it has just snowed. it smooths over all the imperfections in the landscape that I seem to see all the time.

I have been reading "Crime and Punshiment" for the past week or so. I have Barnes & Noble has small unabridged editions of classics that are cheap and that is the most important thing because then I can get a hard cover of a classic for 5 bucks instead of 30. I guess my rants against shopping at walmart and rei are kind've moot when I go and buy books at B & N. I could qualify that it is not very often though, but I have to admit that I am there every other week to read magazines for free. It kind've convicts me that I need to make more of an effort to find a good private bookstore that I can shop at. I rant and rave against walmart, home depot and rei because I want to support local people but still I go to somewhere else like them. I shop and corporate supermarkets and buy my gas from honestly wherever I can find it because once the low fuel light on the motorcycle comes on it is always a good thing to find gas as quickly as possible.

How to I avoid these kind've conudrums?? At the same time do they really matter? If Crime and Punshiment is an accurate portrayal of life in St Petersburg I am lucky to have a walmart. I am really privileged to be able to never have to worry about having enough money for food or honestly anything. The characters in crime and punishment are living in abject poverty yet they still have the same base worries that we have like love, life, God. Of course sometimes all they can think about is food or finding a place to get out of the cold.

Once again does all this stuff really matter. Is there any point in trying to support local businesses over saving money. The issues that come up in my life are so trivial in comparison to food and shelter, but almost everyone in the US has not problem with this kind've stuff. The homeless population in all reality is tiny, I think that most of the people who can not afford to eat usually need to be taught how to manage their money better. It all sounds so callous and hard hearted because I know that their are people who really struggle to have enough money every month and alot of those people are at the Glen. They want a life style like every one else has but it is one they cannot afford so they put themselves in massive debt and then have to look for other jobs because they cannot not afford to get payed so little.

I work with Joey Clark alot and so we get into lots of debates about stuff. God has used him to change my mind on the value of money or how worthless it really is. I always figured that I needed a job somewhere else because I cannot buy everything I want while I am at the Glen. God provides everything I need and more but in all reality I am very materialistic. i get an idea in my head that i want something and I just go out and get it or wait and wait until finally the time is right but I will be focused on that one thing beyond all else for alot of the time until I get it. It is wrong it is like coveting or lusting but I still have a problem with it.

God made me content. Ever since I came to the Glen I have been on the lookout for a better job. I always dreamed of more money. Probably 60-70% of the time i wanted to leave because of money. I had the opportunity about a week or 2 ago to take a job where I would work in landscaping and after the first year get a raise to 50g. which seemed like alot for what they wanted me to do but that is beside the point. When i had to make the decision God totally confirmed that I just needed to live within my means and stay at the Glen because there was still alot for me to do.

Right after that God gave me a vision for what the Grounds at the Glen needed to be. I dream of little sitting areas all around Glen Eyrie that give people a place to be by themselves and spend time with God and if they need feel isolated from the rest of the world in the prescence of God. I also see this as being in line with where the leaders at the Glen say God is leading them. They want the Glen to be focused on ministry and not just focused on making a profit which is what its aim has been for the past couple years.

A blog is a hard thing to waste

It is incredibly hard to blog when you do not have internet hooked up to your computer. Probably the biggest thing that has happened in the past month is a strong desire to seek the lord. I wished for that desire for the past two years. For those 2 years despite all my efforts, I felt so distant from the Lord.

One day, about two weeks ago, I set down and started reading this book again called 'A Search for God Knows What?' by Donald Miller. The thing that stood out to me the most and changed my perspective was realizing that Christianity really is relational and not a formula. I think that I have been living like Christianity was a formula for my whole life. Just a set of rules and not a God who cares for me and is not coming down on me whenever I screw up. He loves me in spite of all the shit I do. Alot of this is so clear in the Bible but I think the traditions of the church sometimes tend to erase much of that in peoples minds. It seems all about rules sometimes.

Jesus hung out with the dregs of the earth, not the upper class. Sometimes he almost seemed to scorn the upper class. i know he didn't but he sought out those that need his help.

Who do i seek out that is unlikeable or uncouth?? I have to honestly say no one since I started working full time at the Glen. I have hung out with people who do not meet the churches standard of perfect people, but then again if you are not decently well of many times it seems as if there is no place for you in the church. i think that most of the people I have met at church are pretty well off they are not in poverty, and if you do not wear nice close will you get thrown out. I was thinking that as an experiment at peirced we should have one of us not shower for a couple days and dress up as a homeless guy and see how people react. I'm sure it has already been tried but how would people react. How would I react if I was not a participant in the experiment. Would I embrace the homeless guy if he came up to me or just shrug him off and go the other way.

Witnessing is just showing people there need for Christ not preaching.

Normal Life

I find life goes on normally here. In the face of tragedies around the world. I find that while I want to help I feel money, which most organizations ask for is ineffectual. I do not have much money so would my time be more valuable to these people then money??? I want to go serve these people, but I think that until everything gets more organized their is no reason to go down here. I feel helpless, I have to trust God that he has everything under control.

My dad went to a conference down in New Orleans one time and he said like he has said about Las Vegas and Atlantic City that He could almost feel the darkness pressing in around him. I have talked to a couple people who have felt this way.. Was New Orleans more depraved then Las Vegas or Atlantic City or just more depraved then most normal cities it's size.

Either way people need help and the most I can do right now is pray. The thought just occurred to me that maybe this year instead of taking a vacation to Europe or some other country they I should help out wherever I can in New Orleans or the surrounding area. I know that If I go down that I need to be willing to do the dirtiest, worst jobs I can imagine. I guess I will have to see what opportunities the Lord brings forth for me.

As I said life goes on as normal, going biking, riding the XB9 and working on the car. I have also been doing a general job search to find what is out there. I am not totally unhappy with my job. About 75% of the time I love it and the other 25% it is oppressive to work at. I have been praying about whether God wants me to stay here or if he has something better/different for me. I was thinking that if the do decide to rebuild new Orleans then I could go down there and work/volunteer depending on what ends up happening.

Chopping the frame/body installation and many other things

It has been a very busy summer. I worked with joey to supervise the NCP crew at Glen Eyrie. I was taught a lot about why I can infuriate my boss sometimes but also how valuable communications skills are when relating to people working under me. I have been told it relates more to volunteers then to employees but I do not agree. Most work environments would be so much better if the boss effectively communicated his desires to the employees and included some praise and encouragement.

The summer was also a really dry time spiritually. I love being around people and so I sometimes let myself get distracted by all the fun people around me. I probably spent a total of 3 or 4 hrs of time in the word the past two months if you do not include church. I did not participate in the Bible Study I usually go to because of time. It has been really encouraging to spend some time in the word since NCP left. I sometimes forget that I need to be rejuvenated and spend time by myself with God.

I just got done reading a book called Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. It was funny but at the same time really depressing. The guy was so self-involved and had such low self esteem. He was always worried about his approval by others. I think the most depressing thing was that it did not seem like there was any point to his life.

I tend to be pretty generous with my stuff and I try to separate the two but it does not always work. Case in point. I really like this girl at church and I knew she needed some help this one particular month. I felt like God was calling me to help her out so I gave her some money for the month, not even thinking that she might find it awkward or that it would have any appearance of me giving her the money to get her to like me. I knew the second I gave it to her that I should have figured out some way to give the money anonymously, because she totally flipped out. I left real quickly and I am not sure how to deal with the whole situation. Has this doomed any thoughts I might have of something more then friendship?? I struggle with whether to pursue anything more now. I realize I may have put her in an awkward situation but at the same time... ...was god showing me something by the way she reacted. I am just going to give it some time and see which way God moves the whole situation later.

On a totally different note

This summer I made slow progress on the hybrid jeep. No this does not mean electric/gas in this case it means a combination of an old school wagoneer and a 86' cherokee. Back in April we cut the top off the cherokee and it just set their for a while. Then the engine went kappoot and it set their some more. We pulled the body of the wagoneer and shortened the frame. Then sometime in July, Jev and I stripped all the drivetrain off the cherokee and we were ready for the frame fitting.

Last weekend and today I fit the body to the frame and now it almost looks like the cherokee is supposed to sit on the wagoneer.

The saga of the bikes

My new bike!!!!

The saga all started about 2 weeks ago when a car pulled out in front of one of my friends when they were riding my motorcycle. (He only had a broken thumb). The headlight and turn signal were broken on it so I went to the Harley Dealership to get a new headlight. To make a long story short I had been looking at buying a new buell in about 2 months, but I went in for a headlight and came out with a new bike (a really good deal).

Alot has gone on since the last time I wrote. We took the body off my Wagoneer to get ready to shorten the frame and put the cherokee body on it. Eventually I would like to make it so I can switch a cherokee body with a roof and one without off and on in about 30 minutes. During this whole time I have been debating the role of the church in alienating many non-christians. Sometimes it feels like an elite club where entry into the church itself is barred to those who do not conform to the churchs standards, not neccessarily moral standards but standards of dress, culture, and the like. I guess it would be moral standards to. How many people who struggle with homosexuality feel alienated by the church because there sin is considered by so many to be so much more taboo then many of the other sins. Even if people do not consider it worse in there mind. Even people of a more liberal mindset in politics can feel ostracized because there views do not tow to the party line of churches. I'll admit that there have been different small groups I have been involved with where I felt like I would be alienated if I shared some of my views on the environment and big business.

I think the church should keep poltics out of its sancutuary and focus on winning people to christ. They should trust that the Lord will lead people who come to know him in the right direction and not feel that they need to control what people think. A liberal exchange of ideas that allows beliefs to be challenged will cause people to think and either become stronger in their beliefs or realize they are not correct. I really like the church I go to right now because the pastor will bring in people to speak who have very different views from the mainstream church. I have agreed with alot of what they have said but some things I don't. It makes me rexamine my beliefs and question why I have those beliefs and come up with cold hard facts for most of my beliefs.

Springs is here. It was such a nice day to ride.


Bike after hitting car (surpirisingly will cost alot to fix according to estimate)

Killing the Roof

The chop is complete!!!

Jev and I chopped the top off the jeep yesterday. It is so much fun to destroy stuff. Especially when I know that something really cool is going to come out of it. We drove it over to the porters last night (which was totally illegal but oh well). I did find out from Jed who runs armorology that we could run without a windshield legally in colorado so we chopped the windhield off to which I hadn't been planning to do but it is so much fun driving around without a windshield. In two weeks I am going to order a tubing bender and we will start building the roll cage.

After that we will start to build a new frame for it so I can put the v8 and axles from my wagoneer onto it.

the intial chop before the top is totally removed

Is Death a good reason to spend money

Over the past few days as we prepared for a memorial service for the president of the organization I work for, I have been thinking," Are we doing all this to honor this guy or to ease the pain and suffering of his family?"

Some of the things I am doing to prepare, seem like things that should be done normally to spiff up the place for the guest who stay at our conference center. Mulching the beds and having flowers almost year round are things that would happen at a normal business.

I would hope if I ever die to be cremated and placed in the ground without a big service or viewing (viewings are morbid, who wants to see a person who looks artificial and kind've scary?)

On a brighter note the Glen is a beautiful place during the spring. Today was in the mid seventies and I love working in gardens!! Especially when the weather is amazing out. I rode my motorcycle every where I had to go tonight. The temp was even warm tonight.

Well the jeep is getting modified even more now. I had previously cut the back behind the doors off it (Pic above). So now for the summer my friends and I are going to build a roll cage and cut the whole top of and install a roll cage. It should be a blast. I have to buy a tubing bender in the next week or 2. I think we could get really artistic on this and have some fun. Anybody who has ideas for some cool designs to make out of tubes leave a comment!!

Back to bed now I have to work the memorial service tommorow. I think it will be cool. Hopefully when some of the people who come see the Glen they will feel God calling them to donate. The title is kind've cynical isn't it...

Biking

Cove G-Spot

I love mountain biking!!! Above is my dream bike. I hope that I can get some friends to help me build a teeter totter for our bikes off the back wall of our house. If we really get ambitious I think we will be able to create a whole trail that has ladders and banks and all that fun stuff

Daring Ways to Reach Out

I have been taking all the cars at work for emmissions testing today (a crappy requirement the Colorado Springs has) and so I have been reading a book called Blue Like Jazz. In the chapter on confession, the author and his friends set up a confessional booth on their college campus during a big party. The twist is that the booth is for these guys to ask the students forgiveness for all the sins of Christians over the ages. I think stuff like the crusades and all the corruption in the church over the years is what sticks in non-christians minds. There are many times I have tried to distance myself from the standard American church with my non-christian friends and even in just normal life I cringe everytime I see someone protesting homosexuals or trying to make everyone conform to the "Christian" way of thinking. You would think that Focus on the Family would have realized by now that we are no better then the catholics who went down to Jerusalem during the crusades and forced values onto people.

I am defintely not anything like Jesus when it comes to this. I do not tend to embrace the periahs of society. It is so easy to stay in my own little shell with friends and not risk rejection by the Christian community to reach out to those in America who really need it. I confess that I have not blatantly witnessed to anyone in the past year.

Even confessing the sins of corporate Christianity to non-christians would be so relieveing sometimes. I may not have been in the crusades, but I complicitly stand by while Christians hate other people every day and do not say anything. One of my friends is always saying, "Choose your fights" I feel like those kind of fights are worth choosing but I sometimes back away for political reasons and i kno I shouldn't I wonder how many other Christians back away from confrontation every day just so their lives will be easier.

Environmentalists Catastrophe

I have been wondering and thinking all day..."Does it pollute less to keep a old car that is not as environmentally friendly or to build a new one." It would seem that building a new car on top of how much gas it uses over its life time would put out more pollution then recycling an old car and driving it for eons.

The Learning Curve

I was trying to upload this picture to my profile but I guess it was a little unsuccessful. Unfortunately I did not ride the blast today, but today was an amazing day. The weather was perfect for tree planting.

Students from Kent State and University of Illinios are at the Glen this week volunteering during their spring break. We transplanted trees from our nursery onto a creek bank that was destroyed by a flood in 1999. Even as my tone was quiet somber yesterday I do have to reiterate that I love my job, especially during the times when I am working with volunteers. Serving God is so cool!! It is so much easier to connect with people when I work with them.

Over the past couple weeks I have began to ponder what my spirtual gift really is... I had always assumed it was serving, but at work one of the guys said that our root motivation for our actions was our spirtual gift. It popped into my head, that my root motivation for serving is to give to other people. I love to bless other people through giving to them whether through time or money.

I am defintely a selfish oaf much of the time, I look after what I can get unstead of what I can give. I wonder what I am seeking to give when I am working with the guys from kent state and UI. Do I just enjoy working with others or is it something deeper. Is it the bond of Christians serving the Lord together, is it something based in the flesh???

I do love tree planting, sowing grass seed, watering anything that gets me outside and lets me be blessed by God's creation. Walking around watering plants epitomizes the utmost state of relaxation and meditation for me. I can think more clearly with the sound of water flowing onto a plant and dropping down to the earth.

Sitting back in a chair does not get my mind whirling like writing or talking to someone.

Does the Learning curve ever stop??? I hope not. (man do I think disjointedly)

A Start

It is amazing how God has blessed me lately... With a job I love, great friends and a beautiful place to live.

I have got a couple passions, mountain biking, God, and the newest one is motorcycles. I have always had a desire to reach the lost through mountain bikes. I wonder what has happened to that desire lately. Has God put it on hold or has He moved me on to another stage in life... I hope not! I always felt that God would use mountain biking to reach other people through me. What has happened to that desire ( I guess I should look deeper) I feel to some extent that I have lost my hunger to see God reach people since I have been at Glen Eyrie. I love seeing people being able to worship God at the Glen, but I am doing nothing to reach the lost. Where is the passion, it used to be so strong in my life, what happened to it??? Did I become callous and hardened towards those who need him most. I have no compassion for those who do not know the Lord, why is this, what happened, how did I get so far off track. I guess I cannot say I have no compassion, I have compassion for a couple people who do not know Christ. I focus on making Glen Eyrie beautiful every day, I wish that I had the passion for the lost that I do for God's Creation.

Where does God want me, How does he want me to reach people. The one major problem I have living and working at Glen Eyrie is that I have no contact with people who are not saved. It sometimes feels like a trap to be in this bubble. It is even refreshing during those times when I get out away from Christians and get into the normal world whether it is at the bike shop or at independent records. If the only people who are in your life are Christians can you still effectively minister to the lost, or is it enough to seek to minister to those who reach out to the lost. I do struggle with doubts about whether the Glen is where God wants me. I feel like I could be used by Him more effectively somewhere else but where is that somewhere else. I do not want to be content I want God to spur me on to follow Him with a greater and greater passion, a passion I lack now...I have faith God will lift me towards Him and I know I can never do His will on my own. What is your will in my life Lord. I search it out and ache to be near you but have that one persistent sin in my life that seems to impede that and may be the root of my lack of desire. What a ramble, I guess once it gets started I have a hard time reaching a dropping off point :-)