New Job

A year ago I would have never thought I would be working in customer service. I might not even have predicted I would be leaving Glen Eyrie... but it seems like 99% of my plans always change by the time I actually get around to carrying them out.

This is defintely no different. In December, I told everyone about the Grad schools I was attending in the fall. Of course that is not happening right now. I decided when the opportunity arose that I needed to go into Grad school Debt free. In the past I never cared about being debt free. It was more if I needed something I bought it not really caring about repercussions later.

I feel great about leaving the Glen, which is exciting because for a long time I wrestled with guilt about even seeking to leave because I didn't complete all the projects I wanted. I came to the realization that I will never get everything done I want to as long as I stay at the Glen.

But at the same time with all my grandiose visions, I probably will not get everything I want to get done in life and I am fine with that. If some of my dreams are accomplished then that is all I need...

It is not a case of low expectations for myself but the realization that I have way to many ideas to ever get them all done.

In Search of Captain Zero

Any kind've of adventure story usually get me hooked pretty fast, especially ones that are set out in the middle of no where or at least out of the US.

And


I have been reading the book, In Search of Captain Zero for the past week or so. It is a non-fiction novel about Allan Wiesbeck's surfing/driving trip down to Costa Rica with the purpose of looking for his friend Chris (aka Captain Zero).

All the while he is camping, surfing and in general flowing through a life of which I could only dream...maybe. Regardless it is an amazing surfing adventure book which made me do alot of thinking about what I value in life... because many times my desire for adventure and good solid friends play competing roles in my life. Some of my best adventures have been by myself. I hesitate to say the best because the experience is heightened when you can share it with friends.

I say all this yet the solitary times in my life always lead to adventure and crazy explorations. About half of the craziest stories I tell may not have happened if other people had been with me. I think that is the one thing about exploring places by yourself. You are not tied to anyone and can just wander and find the most incredible places.

I tend to ride my motorcycle by myself alot during the summer because there are not that many people who have motorcycles that can sacrifice a whole weekend to explore the mountains. The three of four times that I have ended up on dirt roads in the middle of no where with a nearly empty tank of fuel are the times that I have seen the most amazing views or the random bear wondering through the meadow.

I hate being by myself; whether it is because of some insecurity I haven't quite figured out yet or something else. In spite of all this, the times I really end up worshiping God are the adventures alone. I think that it is so easy for me to focus on people over God that in some ways it is better for me to be alone because then I can get a clearer picture of him, uninhibited by my desire to please people, to gain deeper friendships and for people to like me in general.

Wow all of a sudden the post turned much deeper then I intended...

I do not want to admit that I always try to please people not God, but I think that it may be the biggest thing that leads me away from God .