What does rest mean?? I am wondering if I am just hanging out or actually resting most of the time. Three different terms exist in my mind rest, relaxation, and rest in God. I think that the 3rd may not involve the other 2. I relax a lot but may not rest. This culminated about a month ago when I just started to crave sleep and getting away from people for a while. I had been relaxing with all my friends and having lots of fun but not resting and it finally hit a wall. At the monthly Glen meeting today one of the guys said that many of the people who come to the Glen for conferences got more out of the rest they experienced during their weekend at the Glen then the actual conference.
I think I get a lot more rest then many people or at least relaxation. I'll admit that I do not have any real responsibilities outside of work. I get to spend much of my time of in leisure activities. Why do other people fill up their lives with so much meaningless crap. I can understand if you have a couple kids a weekend away from them would be great. I met a lot of people in my old bible study at pierced that did not seem happy with their life. I definitely tend to grouse about stuff a lot, but in reality I'm pretty happy with my life and my job. My job is very frustrating at times, but never horrible no matter how much I dislike my boss.
In terms of rest I think it would help a lot if I would forgive some of the people at the Glen and give up the grudges I have towards some of them and the Glen in general. I think that I have some valid points but nothing is ever as bad as I make it out to be.
If I give all this up it will be much easier to focus on God and experience rest in him. I do not rest in God very much. God is sometimes the farthest thing from my thoughts even when I am meditating on the Bible. I tend to be all analytical or all emotional and often there is not an inbetween area for me when I meditate on who God is.
God is... Open ended statements like that bring up many different trains of thought, but When I meditate on God I think it might be better for the present to just focus on God when I meditate and not any specific aspect of him and see where it goes. Maybe then I can rest in him even as I stop thinking.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
It's Early.....
I don't think I have been up this early in a year at least. One of the guys at the house I'm in charge of had a brother go into the hospital last night at 12ish. It turned out to be really serious with what sounded like major internal damage to a couple organs and the lungs. It was a really interesting situation.
I was somewhat a sleep at 1 or so and I here a diesel truck go by and then I here joey's voice. Whenever I here joey's voice in my house at 1 in the morning I know something has gone wrong. Joey takes care of the front gate during the night and would always be sleeping and groggily answering the phone. I stumble out of my room and joey's trying to explain to one of my roomates who is deaf that his brother is in the hospital. So joey takes him to the hospital and I groggily go back to bed about 2. Then at 3:30 I hear a pounding on my door and am praying that things are not going any worse then before. But it is just our security guy waking me up so we can find someone to stay at the hospital with robert, because joey has to be in denver at 8am.
Even though a couple of us have been up all night, what has really amazed me has been the servants heart of all the NCP guys. A couple of them went to the hospital to stay with robert @ 3:45 and I asked one of the guys that works with me to help out in the kitchen at 5:45 this morning and he willingly if not happily got up to help out up there.
For anybody who reads this before I update it. you can be praying for robert's brother jonathan who last I heard was in really serious shape at the hospital and on the brink of death and for robert and his family.
I guess that is the end. I can not even imagine how I would feel if it is was my brother in the hospital right now. I would probably be sitting in shock and not really comprehending what is going on. Robert is taking so much in himself with his parents out of town and him being the only one by his brother's bedside so pray for him also.
I was somewhat a sleep at 1 or so and I here a diesel truck go by and then I here joey's voice. Whenever I here joey's voice in my house at 1 in the morning I know something has gone wrong. Joey takes care of the front gate during the night and would always be sleeping and groggily answering the phone. I stumble out of my room and joey's trying to explain to one of my roomates who is deaf that his brother is in the hospital. So joey takes him to the hospital and I groggily go back to bed about 2. Then at 3:30 I hear a pounding on my door and am praying that things are not going any worse then before. But it is just our security guy waking me up so we can find someone to stay at the hospital with robert, because joey has to be in denver at 8am.
Even though a couple of us have been up all night, what has really amazed me has been the servants heart of all the NCP guys. A couple of them went to the hospital to stay with robert @ 3:45 and I asked one of the guys that works with me to help out in the kitchen at 5:45 this morning and he willingly if not happily got up to help out up there.
For anybody who reads this before I update it. you can be praying for robert's brother jonathan who last I heard was in really serious shape at the hospital and on the brink of death and for robert and his family.
I guess that is the end. I can not even imagine how I would feel if it is was my brother in the hospital right now. I would probably be sitting in shock and not really comprehending what is going on. Robert is taking so much in himself with his parents out of town and him being the only one by his brother's bedside so pray for him also.
Does Christian culture tend to destroy art and other cultures
An article I was reading in National Geographic Adventure about Wade Davis poignantly illustrated what I was thinking about in the Garden tonight. He is a ethnobotanist who has gone all over the world experiencing the plants and traditions of cultures while trying to let people know how important it is to preserve cultures all over the world. He states that one of the biggest problems for smaller cultures today is that they are being absorbed by larger societies because the people in these cultures are told that to be successful they have to earn more money at a plant in a big city. In reality their culture is destroyed and they are not any better off because of it.
Reading this article made me think of the Christian culture all over the world. It is what I was thinking about tonight when I was in the Garden of the Gods after a night mountain bike ride to go sit on the rocks and think. I realized that I was questioning God in a large part due to the failings of religion around me. When I look at Christians as a whole there are not very many that I respect for their actions outside of the church. If I was hitch hiking back from a long bike ride the chances of someone picking me up who was a christian are not high. At least in Colorado, a redneck or a bike/snowboard bum would be more likely to pick me up. Or if I needed food I would be more likely to get it from some hippies camped beside the road then if I went up to a car full of Christians and begged for it. Why are Christians so afraid of the world around them. God has brought so many beautiful things out of the non-Christian culture. I mean why is it that not many Christian bands are really any good??? And why is it that if you have a boss that is mormon or a co-worker that he is more likely to treat you with respect and dignity then if that person is a Christian.
Why is it that so many Christians expect new converts to conform to their culture. It is kindve like how the southern Baptists expect members of their church not to ever drink and say that it is biblically wrong to drink when they encounter other people. Or how a lot of churches ask their kids to give up secular music for Christian music. So much Christian music really stinks. If a kid is really musically inclined he or she is probably going to go for non-christian bands so instead of steering him towards inferior music why not find secular bands that are clean and present good values. It is really not that hard
My friend Patti was saying yesterday that relationships are really the cornerstone of a good church. Not the sermon or the music but the relationships you have with the people in that church and how they make you feel loved and cared for and inspire you to want to show that love and care to everybody you will meet in your daily life. The Christian life is not about rules and figures, it is about loving your neighbor to show them christs love and the rest naturally follows. Rules tend to drive people farther away from God while love tends to drive them closer to him.
Reading this article made me think of the Christian culture all over the world. It is what I was thinking about tonight when I was in the Garden of the Gods after a night mountain bike ride to go sit on the rocks and think. I realized that I was questioning God in a large part due to the failings of religion around me. When I look at Christians as a whole there are not very many that I respect for their actions outside of the church. If I was hitch hiking back from a long bike ride the chances of someone picking me up who was a christian are not high. At least in Colorado, a redneck or a bike/snowboard bum would be more likely to pick me up. Or if I needed food I would be more likely to get it from some hippies camped beside the road then if I went up to a car full of Christians and begged for it. Why are Christians so afraid of the world around them. God has brought so many beautiful things out of the non-Christian culture. I mean why is it that not many Christian bands are really any good??? And why is it that if you have a boss that is mormon or a co-worker that he is more likely to treat you with respect and dignity then if that person is a Christian.
Why is it that so many Christians expect new converts to conform to their culture. It is kindve like how the southern Baptists expect members of their church not to ever drink and say that it is biblically wrong to drink when they encounter other people. Or how a lot of churches ask their kids to give up secular music for Christian music. So much Christian music really stinks. If a kid is really musically inclined he or she is probably going to go for non-christian bands so instead of steering him towards inferior music why not find secular bands that are clean and present good values. It is really not that hard
My friend Patti was saying yesterday that relationships are really the cornerstone of a good church. Not the sermon or the music but the relationships you have with the people in that church and how they make you feel loved and cared for and inspire you to want to show that love and care to everybody you will meet in your daily life. The Christian life is not about rules and figures, it is about loving your neighbor to show them christs love and the rest naturally follows. Rules tend to drive people farther away from God while love tends to drive them closer to him.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Relationships
I think relationships are one of the most important things about life. I was sitting with a friend at It's a Grind today and she said that she went to a church in town because of the people who went there not for the preaching or the worship, but for the people. When I really think about it my life is all about relationships with people. I think one of the reasons I have such a hard time with my boss is because he is so anti-social. He does not really allow you to have a relationship with him.
I keep saying how hard a time I have at Glen Eyrie, but really the reason I stay there is because of the relationships I have with Joey, Derek, and all the garden volunteers I work with. I love interacting with people and being able to just provide and bless people through the relationships I have with them. I have definitely taken all my friends forgranted... the guys I hang out with most of the time are both leaving one for china and the other to go to grad school.
The good side of this is that I am in the process of moving off the Glen. It is much easier to break with a place when you do not have any good friends living their anymore. I told one of my friends once that I sometimes struggle with valuing friendships above God. It is so true. If I am studying the bible or praying or just meditating on god and a friend comes by I will usually drop what I am doing to go spend time with them. That is why it has been weird the past couple weeks when I have cared alot less about hanging out with all my friends till late at night talking about everything. I cannot decide if I am drawing away kind've preparing myself to be alone more or if I am just being emo and introspective. I have been thinking alot about what my life means outside of my friendships with people. What else is their in it. I struggle to live in any time besides the now, I struggle to keep in touch with people who are not right around me and keep up the valuable relationships I built with people in the past.
I love all my good friends from before bbut why should I sacrifice all these relationships for the now. All my friends in the past are worth keeping in touch with. Is it selfishness that prevents me from keeping in touch with them or just laziness. When I say I sometimes value relationships more then God, I realize that it is only the people who are present right in front of me at that time.
I keep saying how hard a time I have at Glen Eyrie, but really the reason I stay there is because of the relationships I have with Joey, Derek, and all the garden volunteers I work with. I love interacting with people and being able to just provide and bless people through the relationships I have with them. I have definitely taken all my friends forgranted... the guys I hang out with most of the time are both leaving one for china and the other to go to grad school.
The good side of this is that I am in the process of moving off the Glen. It is much easier to break with a place when you do not have any good friends living their anymore. I told one of my friends once that I sometimes struggle with valuing friendships above God. It is so true. If I am studying the bible or praying or just meditating on god and a friend comes by I will usually drop what I am doing to go spend time with them. That is why it has been weird the past couple weeks when I have cared alot less about hanging out with all my friends till late at night talking about everything. I cannot decide if I am drawing away kind've preparing myself to be alone more or if I am just being emo and introspective. I have been thinking alot about what my life means outside of my friendships with people. What else is their in it. I struggle to live in any time besides the now, I struggle to keep in touch with people who are not right around me and keep up the valuable relationships I built with people in the past.
I love all my good friends from before bbut why should I sacrifice all these relationships for the now. All my friends in the past are worth keeping in touch with. Is it selfishness that prevents me from keeping in touch with them or just laziness. When I say I sometimes value relationships more then God, I realize that it is only the people who are present right in front of me at that time.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Adventures :->
I think one of the biggest reasons I love my bike... besides the thrill of leaning over in a tight curve... is all the cool places I've been able to go on it. Normally I would not consider deckers colorado an adventure, but when the grocery store lady tells you it is only 25 miles to castle rock on this little paved road and she is wrong it can turn in to a pretty good adventure.
I started out just taking a ride out to cripple creek colorado on friday morning to enjoy the curves on the way out there, but as I left cripple creek I decided that it was a shame to waste my day off and decided to head out to deckers,co which is in exactly the opposite direction. I got to deckers and decided I wanted to go someplace I had never been before...which is how I ended up on some backwoods dirt road.
Gas isn't usually something you have to think about in a car, but on a motorcycle you can't ignore it or you may be pushing your bike to the next gas station. My bike has about 140 miles before it runs out of gas. When I got to deckers I was at 105 and I knew that I couldn't go very far out of the way. The grocery store clerk in deckers said," It is only 25 miles to Castle Rock" (which has gas!!) I followed her directions but I ended up following this dirt road that crossed the colorado trail and praying I would find a town soon. the ride was beautiful but I was always thinking in the back of my mind about gas and the next town.
I ended up getting to a place off US 285 with 141 on one tank of gas and somehow God has blessed my motorcycle and it got 61 miles per gallon when I usually only get 45. I wish I had more pictures (mental note...must by digital camera...). I think I might start keeping a list of all the towns in colorado I have visited but then it would noot be as much of an adventure going random places at the drop of a hat. It is kindve like bagging 14ers just to bag them and not really going for all the enjoyable experiences you are going to have along the way.
So more an adventure us not just for the excitement it is for the experiences that you gain from it, for the joy of hanging out with friends or seeing beautiful scenery as you ride your motorcycle beside the south platte and see the canyon closing in around you as the road gets lower and the river gets higher and you wander if you are going to be riding a sport bike through water in a couple hundred ft.
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